In life, you can't get all caught up in wishing for something that won't happen. It's something I do all too often. I wish so hard that something will happen, yet I know it won't, which leads to a lot of problems. For example, trying to get people back in my life. Yet, even if I had the chance to have them back, I don't know if I would take it. My life has gotten a lot better lately, in certain situations. I have amazing friends, and I am a lot happier. Don't get me wrong. It doesn't mean I don't miss them, it doesn't mean when our favorite song comes on I don't think of them.. Becuase I do, and I'm pretty sure I always will. But, I know I'm better off without them. Its pretty sad when people you know become people you knew, when you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life, how you used to be able to talk for hours and how now you can barely look at them. Its sad how times change.

Thank goodness for the people I have in my life right now. I honestly love them all. They're what keeps me smiling, even of they don't realize it. I have to say, I love my life. :)

I need a one-way ticket.

Outta this city. I feel like I need to get away. To start over, be ME, live my life. Instead of feeling held back here. I need to get away from all this. But at the same time, I've dealt with it for so long, what's the rest of my life? I don't know if I have the guts to up and move from everything I've ever known. Or to leave the people I love.

Migrane like no other. Off to bed.

Keep smiling.

Lately I have realized that keeping a smile is a lot easier than it seems. Even if it is just there to keep people from knowing how much pain you are in, it is still possible to trick them with that smile. A smile can hide all the pain you need it to, but sometimes it is so hard to do. I know from experience. But if you can keep a smile on, then it shows a real strength in you.

Honestly, you just have to find people that keep you smiling, and I have so many. Little kids are the easiest source. Its when you walk into work, having had the worst day ever, to have kids run to you and throw their arms around your legs before you can even clock in, that's what I can't help to smile at. Or to hear them say how much they love you, its all so cute. Then there is Jeff. Holy crap. I don't think I have ever met a guy happier than him. I don't think you can be around Jeff and not be happy. Its the best thing, I can be in the worst mood, but once I start talking to him, I tend to forget what I was mad about in the first place. I think the most important thing is to surround yourself with people who keep you smiling.


Lately, its been rough, knowing graduation is around the corner, and having people I know become people I knew, and walking by who was once a best friend, be just another strange face; by having the two people I want to have the most in my life, not even be able to talk to me due to a ridiculous family, but yet, the more I smile, the more I feel like everything will be okay. Life can only get better from here right?

Lets hope.